Day 14 - Alapuzha to Kochi including the long awaited and often blasphemed finish line! (60km)

The day broke with wretching coming from cabin 1. Concern turned to mutterings as to whether we would have to buy a new houseboat for our hosts after further investigation revealed a member of Tuk Norris had had a pretty horrible night - from both ends - and had left a bit of a mess in his wake.. All over the upper deck.

Breakfast was served and discussions about last nights events were pretty low key (besides the mess) as most of us were content to lick our wounds after a pretty heavy celebration of the past 2 weeks achievements..

After a very slow and quiet (bar the roar of our angry 2-stroke) return journey to Kochi we settled into our guesthouse (by far the best accommodation so far) and planned our assault to the finish.. Clad in our tailored Zebra suits, now more like dungarees on account of the stifling heat down here, we flew across the finish line to cheers, hugs, hooting and banter from other tukkers and organisers alike, all eager on sharing their tales of the past fortnights events!

Some of our favourite stories include: Three rolled tuks; many accidents with dogs, cows, people, bikes, and other tuks; a seriously lacerated arm; a septicemia from an untreated ankle abrasion; and a polish team driving the last 600km in the dark in order to finish on time!!

After the official handover of keys and stripping of our tuk we got stuck into a game of cricket with the locals in the town square (we were in Fort Kochi - an awesome old quarter of Kochi with loads of old historic buildings, restaurants, bars and guesthouses). We duly won with the most notable performances coming from Tuk Norris' Mike with the bat, and from both of our male contingent captaining and taking wickets respectively..

The official race after party almost didn't happen after initial eagerness and excitement at getting to the top level of the ferry almost caused us to capsize halfway across the harbour - however I imagine our driver could probably have capsized a lifeboat single-handedly - it seems licenses to navigate people carriers of all kinds are freely accessible to whoever shows the slightest interest!

A trophy, another great meal, too many Kingfishers and another ropy ferry trip back later, and we were all safely tucked into bed ready for our respective journeys home over the next few days...

Closing summary to follow…

Day 13 - Somewhere 240km from Kochi to Alapuzha (300km)

Positivity abound after a good nights sleep (the 5.30am wake up call from the mosque next door being the only blip) we found ourselves on relatively good roads with a bit of a deadline to meet up with Tuk Norris for a night on a houseboat.. Alapuzha is actually 60km past the finish line, but we decided that as we were being pretty negative about the whole roads/trucks/buses bit that we'd have to give them as much chance to redeem themselves as possible. So after a relatively trouble free trip (roof racks snapped again – same ordeal, only this time Shad had to actually hold them together while we dodged the now notorious trucks and busses for 20 min attempting to track down another Health and Safety fanatic - starting to think we've been a little top heavy all along now..), we ended up getting to the backwaters before Tuk Norris who were having a bit of a mare of their own.. As it turns out last night at about 10km from the finish line, amid much backslapping and revelry, their little old lady point blank refused to go any further. After various attempts to restart/push/kick the old heap, they were ably assisted by 6 local gentlemen to lift her off the road onto the pavement so as to investigate further. On assessment she was cold and apprehensive, but only once her back left had been removed was the scale of the damage revealed.. Tuk Norris had somehow managed to completely shear the wheel shaft (mechanics/engineers please feel free to correct my terminology) rendering any further progress impossible until the next day. So as it stands, every tuk coming over the bridge into the finish line will see their pink pack horse up on 2 wheels, abandoned and desperately in need of attention..

After settling in we waited over a couple of cold ones for their arrival. Once they arrived and regaled us with their previous night’s tale, we set off on the house bout for a well deserved rest!

Day 12 - Ullal Beach to (somewhere 315km from Ullal Beach)

The glass was pretty empty today. It seems increasingly like the only requirement for driving a bus or truck in India is to be brain-dead or as near to as possible. If someone wouldn't mind commenting on this post below and providing any stats for deaths/disabilities on Indian roads, it would be great. Amazingly enough we haven't actually seen a serious accident, but have seen a couple of trucks/buses on their sides/burnt out/smashed presumably due to some brain-dead decision like overtaking four other vehicles going uphill around a blind corner in the dark.

We also had more drama with the tuk - roof racks snapped when we hit a bump so we had to find a welder to remedy the situation...Easier said than done – in a land of 1 billion people, probably 500 million tuk-tuks, and 250 million mechanics, finding someone who could simply weld our old girl back together proved a real task in itself. Health and Safety are certainly not high on the priority list of the majority of mechanics/auto rickshaw repairmen.. Armed with little more than entry level 80's recreational swimming goggles, yet another incredibly generous and friendly local set to patching our old girl up..

8 hours, a whole lot of swearing and fistfuls of rage later, and we arrived at Naravinds Tourist Home. Empty promises of warm water and air-conditioning revealed we got half our room rate back and set out to find Al a sari. Our only success of the day came in the form of a rather fetching green and gold silk creation that cost 4 times the rate of our room..

We apologise to any bus/truck drivers and their loved ones for any offence or upset this post may have caused.

Day 11 - Goa to Ullal Beach (350km)

Started out positively today with an early start, great navigation, and a couple mid-drive jokes about driving on Indian roads with Tuk Norris... Until about 9am.. It seems Vilas 'the only mechanic in Goa who can fix auto-rickshaws' needs to go back to auto-rickshaw mechanic school. Half way up a hill we had a friendly man frantically waving for us to stop us he pulled up next to us, but being the slightly jaded and behind schedule team we are, we decided to decline what we thought was another generous impromptu photo-shoot opportunity in favour of actually getting to our destination.. How wrong we were. On his third blue-in-the-face attempt we vaguely heard 'OIIILLLLL!!!'..

So an hour and a half later, via various stops in small villiages, roadside garages, and way more mechanics than could actually help, we refilled the gear oil, and handilly plugged the gaping hole left by Vilas' lazy wizardry (he's not a real wizard). So as it stands we have a makeshift screw wrapped in threading tape shoved into the perinium of our old tuks engine - come on the adventure!

Approximately 668 near misses with trucks and buses later - very few our fault, there's very little regard for any semblance of etiquette on these roads - our headlights fell off. After again neglecting what we thought was a grainy nokia 6120 photo opportunity with a friendly chap on a bike, again the same result.. Fortunately the headlights weren't lost, they'd been caught on some of our garnish and were merely hanging on whilst being dragged next to our front wheel...

With light fading and blood pressure reaching dangerously high levels we happened upon Ullal Beach, a literal oasis after a pretty low day. After hot shower, room service beers and a candle lit dinner on the beach, we passed out to the soundtrack of Eddie Murphy's Dr Doolittle..

Days 8 to 10 - Goa

We sent Zebra in for a little service at the 'only' Rickshaw servicer in Goa..and then massive chill time for our selves and Tuk Norris.

The next 3 days followed a pattern of hot shower, beach, hot shower, beer, plates and plates of fresh seafood, beer, beach, massage, hot shower.. Pretty special to say the least - and more importantly, well deserved!

Day 8 - Khed to Goa

We woke with the sparrows to get to Goa as early as possible but our enthusiasm was soon jolted as we actually ended up waiting 40 minutes for the sun to rise. We had decided that it was far too dangerous to drive in the dark. The first 2 hours of the drive were adrenaline filled as there was a lot of mist on the mountainous roads and the Indian drivers have absolutely no regard for anyone else on the road. Think how frustrated and angry South African taxi drivers make you... Now multiply that by at least 1000 and you will have some sort of idea how every truck/bus/4x4/sedan/motorbike driver here would make you feel! Needless to say, there were a few close calls! It was another successful day for us as we covered approximately 350 km of beautiful Indian Coastal road. After another run in with a couple of less than subtle metro cops we pulled into Goa at about 4 pm, and checked into the beach resort, rustic wooden houses but clean with hot water and a western toilet, and went for an afternoon swim. We were so chuffed to eventually be in Goa and have the opportunity to take a dip in the warm Indian Ocean...

Day 7 - Mumbai to Khed

One of our most sucessful driving days so far, we covered some good ground, even if the day started out with a few hiccups.
Bumped into some fellow tuk tukers on the road who were heading to put their little chap on a train down to Goa  as she wasn't doing too much more than 20kms an hour. With renewed faith in our zebra we headed onto the express way to Goa...40 mins into our driving we were greeted with frantic waiving to pull over by a traffic officer who happily announced that no tuks tuks were allowed on the expressway and we must get off immediately, after a small fine... We looked ahead at the seemingly no exit highway in dismay, interesting.
Pedra, driver at the time, was hauled over the road to have a talking to by the more senior officer. After some scoulding and head wiggling Ped was given a 100 rupee fine (equivalent of £1, RMB 10, ZAR 15), which the junior officer keep insisting was 200 as soon as he was out of ear shot from his senior officer.
It's far more tropical now, with palm tree's and rice paddi's, looks a lot more like south east Asia now than the desert like north.
Today's drive took us through valleys and mountains and up to the top of a mountain (the konkan hills to be exact ) to Khed, the town is not so impressive but the scenery makes up for it, wedged between the valleys of rice paddi's.
Another great meal (wagers on weight loss may not be in for a hefty bill) and off to bed for an early start that should see us to Goa!

Day 6 - Kasa to Mumbai

Having reached out destination the night before a lot closer to Mumbai than originally thought, we were in high spirits for what should be only a brief 2 hour driving stint to Mumbai. Unfortunately for us (or fortunately as we'd headed off early) the maps and compass cannot warn you against the traffic in small towns, and sure enough there isn't a smooth glide into Mumbai - you have to pass through a one alleyed town with hundreds and hundreds of tuks, taxi, cows and pedestrians so although only a couple of km's outside of Mumbai out last stretch took us over an hour.

We decided to stay on the outskirts of Mumbai as it is notoriously known for it's traffic. We also dedcided to splash out and stay in some bling accomodation - hot hot shower and WESTERN breakfast included!
After 3 x life changing showers and a few Bombay Sapphires and tonic water, 3 spritely and eager zouhh Africans emerged and headed off to the city. However only moments into the train journey and causulty no 2. was struck! Alex with head lollying out of said train and slowly draining white.

Arrival in Mumbai city sent us looking for some cold coke and something western to put in her stomach. Our stroll took us along marine drive to see the skyline of Mumbai, through (and joined in with) a game of local side highway cricket and into the bustling city, finding a macci d's and thinking a little burger would be great to settle the tummy we pulled in. After repeated attempts by Shad and Ped to explain that all we wanted was a little burger, no not the little one like the kiddies one and loads of head wiggling, pointing and confusion on both parts did we finally realise that mac d's in India may as well be KFC - no beef. Unfortunately the chicken patty didn't go dwn so well with Al and after briefly checking out Leopolds Cafe (from Shantaram), Al again was painting the streets of Mumbai. Sent home and safely tucked in the boys set out to paint the town in a different manner.

Hangin out in Leopolds... A very cool place but filled with tourists and the prices far more exorbetant than what we had become accustomed to in India. Ped and Shad ordered 1 tower (3l of beer) for about £15 after which we thought we would try and find somewhere more authentic to spend the rest of our night. We got chatting to a local who recognised the Rickshaw Run buffs we were both wearing and ordered a second tower. The second went down much smoother than than the first, and we hardly noticed the third and fourth being ordered.. With the knowledge that our daintier other third was safely tucked in, we entertained a mission to find the next tourist trap, but thought better of it to retire back to the residence for a 2am club sandwich and a nap in the lobby..

Day 5 - Vadodara to Kasa, Maharastra, not a dry state - let it rain! (320km)

Post alarm wake-up we are waiting eagerly in the foyer to hand over the keys and explain our strife. At 8am said mechanic rolls in, lends an ear to our troubles, wiggles his head, and ensures us he'll be done and back with us at 9.30 latest (lie no. 2). After some much needed Internet time and blog posting we were back in the foyer fully packed and ready to load up our pack horse for the open road to Surat. At 9.30 we call and he says he'll be there at 9.45 (you guessed it - no. 3).. The 10am call ends slightlymore positively with the news that he is in the tuk and on the way, 15min (no. 4), 10.20 - 15min (no. 5), 10.40 - 5min (no. 6)... At 11am some of the team had to think of Nando's 'last dictators' ad so as not to throttle the bugger when he walked through the door..

After a bill of about 150zar and realising Team 'Like a G6' weren't getting their tuk back until '2pm', we hardened up, packed our old girl up, and set to getting out of the chaos and back on the NH8 to Surat..

To our delight the road was great if not very boring, and we ended up getting to a roadside hotel well further than our initial goal. No hot shower, but beds, great food, and.. Beer!!

Shad's our first casualty healthwise, but he assures us he's seen way worse and he'll be right as rain by Mumbai.

Day 4 - Udaipur to Vadodara (380km)

The start of the least enjoyable part of the trip thus far... Leaving Udaipur in high spirits after a great nights sleep (interrupted only when Shad started screaming and shot out of bed claiming there was a bird flying around 'inside' his matress at around 3am), hot shower (first one to date), a chance meeting with a family from Cape Town over dinner last night, and the most aesthetically pleasant surrounds since the Old Fort, we had reason to think someone was looking out for the Zebra clan..

Gettin out of Udaipur was interesting in itself, with a maze of tiny little alleyways we almost came unstuck (both physically - to our bumper and rear right wheel on separate occasions - and mentally as our compass wasn't picking up a good read due to lack of daylight!)

Once out of the maze we had a decision to make - a literal fork in the road - the road advised, or the road less/never heard of.. Having assembled from/via far and wide for this race, the Real Republican thrill seekers that we are decided on the latter...

Seeing that we covered 380km one might think we achieved all our goals for the day, but alas, we didn't come close.. A couple stops for some DIY patchwork to our deafening exhuast had us feeling we were handier than originally claimed, but losing the clutch brought us right back down to earth.. 200km worth of gear changes sans clutch had us limping into  Vadodara through some of the most chaotic traffic and mayhem we've seen, desperately searching the LP for sleeping/eating/DRINKING suggestions.. Evidently Gujarat (the state we're in) is a dry state, so that saw to our last desire. The second hotel we got to would have us, and they had a mechanic who may be able to come before the close of play, and we found some dinner. Negativity aside the dinner was great - as has been the case throughout - we had a 'Thali' which is basically a big metal dish with a whole lot of little dishes around it full of all manner of amazing sweets, savouries, curries, and sambols. All was mixed with rice in the middle of the big dish and eaten by our threesome with the enthusiasm of a pack of wild dogs tucking into a straggler.. Washed down with a lassi we can highly recommend this experience!

Bad news when we got to the hotel is that the mechanic could only come in the morning, but ensured us he'll be there at 7am (lie no. 1). Off to bed and watched some cricket highlights, Jaques doing well, Clarke doing better. Come on South Africa! Come on India! 

Day 3 Sorohi to Udaipur (180km)

This drive is relatively quick and painless (if you aren't one of the hundreds of flat dogs) and if you keep your eyes open to watch out for trucks and tractors cruising the wrong way down the oneway highway..Fact!

Shortly before the maze of exits that lead or don't lead to Udaipur we lose Tuk Norris as they don't see us waiting ahead of them jumping up and down in - yes Kev, we're still in our Zebra suits.

If you read the Lonely Planet section on Udaipur it is littered with words such as "romantic", "whimsical", "idyllic" and "the best setting in India" - we were sceptical.. Our path into this mythically beautiful city took us through rice paddi's, gogo's vegie patch and numerous backyards.. still not convinced.. After fighting our way through some winding streets dodging cows, dogs and the occaisional peacock and yelling the name of the Lake to any local within earshot we followed their pointing and animated Hindi gestures to Lake Pichola.. And finally, the India we were looking for - an absolute beaut of a city. Built like Venice with buildings onto the water and magnificent intricate temple after temple and palace islands in the centre of the lake.  It literally smells like incense and there are camels and cows in the roads, and many a smiling shop keeper welcoming you in to look at their cashmere, silks, saree's and leathers.  This is absolutely fantastic.  We find a restaurant with a flat bed set out overlooking the lake in the sun, and have an incredible meal - which finally includes some lamb and chicken..  After a snooze on the flat bed we find ourselves a place to stay and end up having an interview with the National Newspaper Hindustan Times - which they promise to send us a copy of when it comes out.

Drinks on the waters edge, looking out on the City Palace and another superb meal for dinner..

Our Tuk survives a rather rabid attack by local street children..

Best day so far..

Day 2 Barmer to Sirohi (310 km)

Again definately not one in the tourists guide books - and almost not even on the map..

Slow start as a few members of Tuk Norris are rather ill - Mike kept us up all night with all manner of noises rarely heard before (even in Shad's line of work), Real Republicans still looking strong for now..

Some great scenery - the 1st day was very flat and very dry as we emerged from the desert, a lot greener now with some mountains in the distance.

Currently we are working off one meal a day as we have a lot of mileage to cover, so those betting on weight loss may well be seeing a hefty bill come the end.

The cows are unreal - literally chilling on freeways and marching down main streets.

We find a small town half way through the day and decide to give Zebra a short rest and grab a cup of chai tea.  Within minutes we are surrounded by a crowd 8 deep of eager faces and beatlenut stained grins - all heads inside the tuk having a good old look around. After repetitive tail pulling, we deicide it's time to move on before we start a riot by getting any more towns folk interested in the Zebra clad trio and their wobbly steed.

Again we arrive late to the one donkey town of Sirohi. Will minimal light and minimal local English, after being refused from what l;ater turns out to be Government accomodation we stumble upon Khan's guest house - more or less another building site.  Hot water is promised in buckets for showers..

Dinner is fantastic, still no meat (South Africans growing weary).  Beer is shipped in by scooter after much enthusiasm and thirsty gestures by all to convey immediate importance and urgency.

1:45 am - Shad stumbles into the room.

"That was one of the best nights of my life!" Myself and Dave stayed up partying with some of the locals. The beer that we were drinking (as mentioned before) was Haywards 5000 and is a wopping 8% alcohol volume. Needless to say the hangover was pretty severe the next morning. Communication was purely non-verbal, and very entertaining as the locals could not speak a word of english. The mood had been festive most of the night but when the owner of Khans guest house retired for the evening the rest of the staff really let loose. Out came the brandy (which was being drunk very stiff and mixed only with water), some other clear spirit which I am convinced should be illegal and the drugs. In Rajasthan, beetle nuts and 'bang' are apparently legal and can be bought from any local shop. 'Bang' had a remarkably similar appearance to hashish which is marijuana resin back home, which the last time I checked was certainly illegal, and both are supposed to give you a natural high. I was not brave enough to try but one of the locals who they called Danger Man, and who was the smallest and obviously at the bottom of the pecking order in this community was INSTRUCTED to take these drugs. After he had taken 2 or 3 hits he was buzzing! He was then instructed to do all sorts of crazy stuff which included opening beer bottles with his eye sockets and running across a very busy highway to fetch firewood when the fire was dying. The night ended with Hindi dancing which I am not very good at and head massages. The head massages were a little creepy but all the objection in the world couldn't make these guys stop. The next morning Danger Man had promised us hot water at 7am but the water obviously did not arrive and this strange little (more than likely comatose from the gross overdose of 'legal' hash) man could not be roused! I am not suprised.

Day 1 - Jaisalmer to Barmer (160km out of Jaisalmer, don't look for it in the 30th anniversary edition of the Lonely Planet India, it's not there)

The race start was entertaining in itself, with team Real Republicans receiving cheers from other teams for being the absolute last team to register.. it may too have been the Zebra onesys - thanks Kev!

After a sending off from the mighty Rajastan Maharaja it was full steam ahead for 60-something tuk tuks... minus us.. being the only team not to have had a driving lesson and crash course on how the tuk works, as the horn blew, starting in the middle of the pack, we watched as a multitude of tuks passed us by.. Eventually figuring out that our hand brake was on! Once the tiny black lever had been dropped we managed to sputter on and in doing so made up some time on at least 3 tuks that had broken down between 10 - 100m outside the starting gates.

Not too many hick ups on the 1st day in terms of engine problems just the minor detour to the Pakistani border which fortunately didn't last too long after a few observant and helpful Indians waved frantically at us to turn around immediately, after realising that a Zebra clad trio was certainly not looking to hedge their bets at the Pakistani border post.

Arriving just before dark in Barmer (out tuk not having more headlight power than a glow worm) we didnt have much time to weigh up accomodation options, 1st place was Rayan Palace - not much of a Palace at all.. Noting a few other boldly decorated tuks we decided to pull in.  The "Palace" wasn't quite finished and so our room was little more than a building site - however team spirit is still high so we could handle.

Mike, Luce and Dave (Tuk Norris) joined us and off we set for some local fair, still no meat but plenty Haywoods.. We seem to be in vegetarian counrty for now but at least they have beer.

Day 0 - Delhi to to Jaisalmer - Team Assembly

An early starts for a 10am flight - 3hr delay meant we only got to Jodhpur after 2 pm, and after an 80km/h max speed taxi drive... 5 hrs later we rolled up to the foot of the old fort amid rumours that Shad's airport pickup wasn't going to plan back in Jodhpur.. The aiport was closing aas all the days flights had arrived and the "nic ROgers' sign weilding driver was being kivked out of the car park as he patiently attempted to wait for his cargo..

Obviously true to form 2 hrs later Shad came flying round an ancient corner of the Fort and almost ran us over in what was to be the first of many near misses in a tuk tuk for this threesome.

So we'd finally managed to meet up, and share a couple of room temperature Kingfishers on our balcony before heading over to the Rickshaw Run Base Camp for the New Years Eve shindig.  After meeting up with Mike, Luce and Dave, we were shown to the yard where we first laid eyes on our hopefully trusty steed - and waht a beauty she was!

A couple of fireworks, some hugs and kisses, and a whole lot of G&T's, Kingfishers, and Haywoods 5000's later we retired back to the Fort for a good nights sleep and an early start in the morning..